I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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