Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
