I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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