at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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