Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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