I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You are a genius and a whore.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
