So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dicks are not precious.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
