Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
