how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sober January is a disaster.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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