You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
