Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
