PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My bed smells like the plague
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize