she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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