in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
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did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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