i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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