your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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