Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
