i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize