I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
