my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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