btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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