Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
