it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it glows. i had to have it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
