plz talk dirty to me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
