do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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