she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
