I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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