We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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