nut hugger
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
