I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
