I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
