i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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