you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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