I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
