i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
