My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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