The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize