Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
