the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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