Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize