He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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