White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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