i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
