And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize