Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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