I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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