ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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