and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize