"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize