Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
