having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.