You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
