I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize