Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
