I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
