My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
