the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
another moral hangover. fuck.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
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I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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