At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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