She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
