Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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