I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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