maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
