You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
